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July 13, 2005

say, say, say

Anyone who uses voice-dial on their phone has had this experience.

Phone: Name, please
Me: Katrina, cell
Phone: Did you say "Katrina, work?"
Me: No.
Phone: Did you say "Katrina, home?"
Me: Nope.
Phone: Did you say "Terrell, cell?"
Me: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!
Phone: Dialing "Terrell, cell"

It does make one wonder about the algorithm the thing uses. My favorite response of all time was, until today, the time I belched.

Me: Buuurp.
Phone: Did you say "Mark, work?"

A few years ago, Microsoft switched to an electronic operator, and the results have been equally entertaining. After enunciating a name like a livid Judi Dench eight times, to no avail, I'll give up and see who it connects me to if I'm not trying at all.

MS: Say the name of the person you're looking for.
Me: Butt Kisser.
MS: Did you say "Bob Tanzar?"
Me: No.
MS: Say the name of the person you're looking for.
Me: Shit-faced Moron.
MS: Did you say "Christina Wall?"
Me: No.
MS: Say the name of the person you're looking for.
Me: Donkey Raping Shit Eater
MS: Did you say "Tom Piritino?"

Yes, yes, this is how I entertain myself when I'm alone. Very cerebral and mature, I know. If you'll indulge me one more, this is the delightful exchange of this morning.

MS: Say the name of the person you're looking for.
Me: Butt munching bumblefucks
MS: Connecting you to "1-800-MICROSOFT"

posted by john at 07:38 PM  •  permalink